TOP TIP!!

Anyone home?

Lovely crisp, sunny day here and I have the afternoon off!  WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so what shall I do with this unexpected half day?

I know, thinks me, I will rediscover my once legendary cooking skills.  LEGENDARY?  I kid you not!  My scotch eggs and pasta+tuna mix is a must at family "do's" and street parties, anyway, I digress.

So there I was cooking up a storm when.........

The remainder of this story is too traumatic to tell ... needless to say, TOP TIP:  Always make sure the food processer lid is firmly locked before you press the "hi-speed" button!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Weird people who post on forums

Well, my arm is very painful today, must be the damp weather but I just had to give you the link to this. He's caricatured every forum poster we know to perfection.

Types of Forum poster

See how many you could put a name to. I especially like

Evil Clown

and the

Cyber Sisters

THE BIG FREEZE

Snow! Snow! Snow!  and there is more on its way apparently! 

Hope you are all keeping warm during this cold weather. 

Get well wishes go to our team member who recently slipped on the ice and broke an arm - Ouch!

It suits you madam!

It's snowing again.  Not that I care!  Not after the suffering I have endured today! 

"Pop up to the West End! I thought "have a look round the big shops and perhaps pick up a few extra bits for Christmas and Oh! Yes! I am bound to find a lovely dress for the New Year's eve party I have been invited to this year - my first extravagant night out since I don't remember when - and perhaps I will pop in somewhere and have some lunch and a cup of coffee whilst I take in the atmosphere of the festive preparations going on around me."  Sounds great doesn't it?

Well, let me tell you something - I would have had more fun if I had stayed wrapped in my dressing gown and watched day time tv!  It was HORRIBLE!

'tis the season to be merry but good grief, aren't people miserable?  Not one smile to share between them.  Not that it bothered me, I don't really make a habit of grinning at strangers on public transport myself, not since .... oh well, let's not ponder on that for now, let's move on to today's adventure and my quest to find an elegant, glamorous evening dress.

"I need a dress..." I said to the "personal adviser" in the woman's wear department of my favourite store.  "Christmas" she glowed "... something red?".
"No" I smiled "I am not going as Santa Claus, I just want something plain, elegant, sort of calf-length and preferably not viscose"
"You don't like viscose?" she gasped.
"No, not really, it creases really badly - I am thinking maybe velvet or ..."

"Ah" my newly appointed PA frowned "So, you're not really sure what you want are you?  Let's have a walked around the floor and see what we can find".

"Oooh look! and it is just the colour YOU were looking for" the PA twirled round with a hideous dress draped over her shoulder so I could get the full effect of the bright red, chiffony thing with a spray of silver sequins covering the left shoulder.

"It's er ... a little Come Dancing ... a tad old fashion ... and about 3 foot too long".
"You don't like it?  Not even when I tell you it has been reduced from £199 to £190?"
"Nope"
"Okay, so what about this one, do you like bright pink?  No?  Okay so what about lime green?"
"I don't think so, I was hoping for something a little more - erm - sophisticated maybe"
"Sophisticated?  Oh I have just the dress, here you are, try it on"
"But, it looks a little short ...."
"No.  It's not short.  Try it on".

It was short!  indecently short!  And the long zip at the back was puckered and the fabric was limp and it reminded me of those cheap, nylony, baby doll nightie things you use to see on the stalls down Brick Lane.  In fact it bore a startling resembance to the transparent nightie my friend Rita bought for her weekend away with the manager of the local pound shop ... but I have strayed and it was a long time ago and Rita is now a respectable grandmother of five ....

Sensing that the PA and I were not a winning team, I decided to make a swift exit.

"Soooo!" she appeared from behind the dress rails as I slipped out of the changing room ".... didn't like it?"
"Hated it" I shrugged casually "thanks for your help but I think I'll leave it today and ...."
"Never mind" she gestered to me to follow her "there are lots more we can try ......"


I apologise to the very patient Personal Adviser who tried to help me choose a dress today, it must have been very embarrassing for you when you realised that I had fled in the opposite direction and even more so when you popped up beside the escalator just in time to see me disappear on the downward one. 

Happy Christmas to Personal Shoppers everywhere :-)

IT'S SNOWING IN LONDON!

How to deep fry cadbury's creme eggs

LOL I was reading up about Cadbury's demise when I came across the site this why you're fat full of pictures of ridiculously fattening food including deep fried battered creme egss. Even I feel a bit sick.........

Mind you, plastic bags do last a few years........................

I had a chuckle when i was putting up my Christmas decorations thinking about the last post and evil plastic carriers. My mum made these Christmas wreaths for the front door about 15 years ago! It was a pattern from the Women's Realm and you had to loop strips cut from plastic carrier bags around a circle made from a wire coat hanger. At the time Tesco bags were red and Marks and Spencers were green. I re-do the extra trimmings on it every so often but basicaly its lasted all that time.

You see...........they really are bags for life.......

Question: if you dropped dead immediately after buying a bag for life, would you be disappointed?